Emily | Narcissistic Abuse Specialist

It’s not just about going no contact. Truthfully, this is only step ONE to breaking your trauma bond. Time will pass, yet time does NOT get rid of these emotions or wounds. It might “feel” this way simply because you no longer have that person constantly triggering you. Those wounds become dormant until the next narcissist walks into your life and wakes it up within you, starting the cycle all over again. 🔄 You need to address these 3 things to break your trauma bond for good: 1 - Emotional regulation ➡️ You can’t “talk” yourself out of the addiction because it’s not coming from your cognitive thinking brain. It’s coming from your survival brain that doesn’t respond to willpower or words. Instead, learning body-based regulation tools helps you STOP the cravings in its tracks by creating a felt sense of safety in your body, which then communicates with your survival brain that it’s safe. This then turns off your fight/flight response, which is what you’re seeking from them to feel relief. This process will now start to help you build the internal resources to change your emotional state on your own without needing them. 2 - Parts work ➡️ Your system activates the same protector parts it used in childhood to keep the attachment for survival. This is what blocks you from leaving because in your inner child eyes, it’s too dangerous. The main ones I see in my clients are: -Fantasy thinking -Self-doubt -Self-blame -People-pleasing The more safety you create in your nervous system by healing your inner child, the more these protector parts soften, until they step to the side & allow you to leave. 3- Healing your attachment trauma ➡️ there’s 3 layers that need to be cleared: -The “I’m not good enough” belief that keeps you stuck chasing after their validation like a drug -The loneliness & fear of being alone that causes you to run back to them. -The abandonment fear & panic that causes you to prioritize attachment over your self-respect. My healing guide will be released in just a few days & it walks you through ALL of these healing stages in depth! Leave a “🦋” below if you want access when it’s ready!

You’ll only obsess over relationships that don’t feel safe to your nervous system because of the unpredictability they bring you. This activates your fear of rejection & abandonment that has your mind spiralling & hyper focusing on them as a way to gain back that sense of stability. And guess what connection without safety leads to? TRAUMA BONDING 💔 Our brain can often mistake these powerful feelings for love, but it’s actually your attachment trauma getting activated. Here are the top 7️⃣ signs to know if you’re trauma bonded: 1 - You feel helpless to leave even if you know they’re not good for you. It feels like an intense internal war between your emotion & logic. 2 - You hold onto false hope that they can change & you’re left feeling confused about who they truly are. 3 - You catch yourself morphing into who they need you to be to keep their approval & don’t feel safe to be your true self. 4 - You make excuses & justify their behavior. When you explain what they did, it’s always followed up with: but…. 5 - You feel terrified to lose them like you’ll never meet someone like this again because your mind has them on a big pedestal. 6 - You obsessively think about them & when they pull away, it causes you intense anxiety where you feel like you can’t live without them. 7 - They feel like the source of your pain, but also the relief from it. Your anxiety is momentarily relieved by getting a text from them. This causes you to accept LESS than the bare minimum & betray yourself to get them to stay. You end up feeling A LOT of shame & judgment for how you’re reacting, not knowing that it’s your inner child running the show. Let me know in the comments if you can resonate with these signs. ⬇️❤️‍🩹

You know you deserve better, but somehow being with the narcissist has caused you to lower your standards completely. Just receiving a small text from them can give your body a big rush. Why in the world does this happen!? Well, no one falls for breadcrumbing because they want to. It happens at an unconscious level. In the beginning, when they lovebomb you, they give you validation in large doses. If you were emotionally neglected in childhood, this can feel like cocaine to your nervous system. Little by little, they take it away & you’re left feeling confused. Your brain then assigns meaning to their behavior based on your past wounds - “Did I do something wrong? Am I not good enough for them?” Which causes you to try and prove your worth instead of walking away. When you’re outside of what they need, they devalue you. But when you act in accordance with what they want, they reward you with a tiny breadcrumb. This conditions you to alter yourself in the process, which can leave you feeling so angry with yourself because you keep walking further away from who you truly are. You get addicted to it because the unpredictability causes your brain to produce WAY more dopamine when you do receive a tiny morsel of kindness. It’s similar to winning the jackpot at a slot machine. But it’s also because having some is better than having none at all if you can’t generate this feeling of self-worth internally & on your own. Holding onto them becomes a subconscious strategy to distract yourself away from facing your childhood pain. Because if you can get their approval back & win them over, it helps to disconfirm your core wound of not feeling good enough, giving you tremendous relief from this shame (only temporarily of course). The solution is within becoming the inner loving parent to the younger parts of you who never felt seen & heard. You are your own medicine & way out. Want to learn the process to heal your inner child & develop this internal self-love? Then, comment the word “PROCESS” below. ⬇️💖🌸 Video credz to my partner in crime @anapatricia.coach 💯

Before I met the narcissist, I used to be so bubbly and full of light, always laughing and enjoying life. But over time, that part of me faded. I didn’t realize it at first, but narcissistic abuse can do that to you—it slowly chips away at your joy until you don’t even recognize yourself. At first, it seems like they care so much, but then their “concern” turns into control. Maybe you’re out with friends, finally feeling good, and they blow up your phone with messages. Instead of enjoying your night, you’re stuck reassuring them, apologizing for things you didn’t even do. Or you’re at a restaurant, laughing and having a nice time, but by the time you’re in the car, they’re accusing you of flirting with the waiter. You leave feeling confused, upset, and questioning yourself. Little by little, their manipulation pulls you away from yourself. You stop doing things you love because you’re scared of how they’ll react. You lose touch with your own feelings while trying to keep the peace & wake up one day feeling disconnected and empty, like you’ve lost who you are. Here’s why it feels like depression: 🌀 Emotional Exhaustion: Pleasing them is like working an unpaid full-time job. Their constant demands leave you drained. 🤯 Walking on Eggshells: You’re so focused on avoiding their criticism that silencing your voice and shrinking yourself feels safer. 💔 Gaslighting & Control: They make you doubt your worth, your reality, and even yourself—until you’ve shutdown so many parts of yourself. But here’s the truth: it wasn’t you—it was the abuse. The sadness, fatigue, and disconnection you felt were your nervous system’s way of surviving in a toxic environment. 💡 That’s why I created my 30-Days to Calm Challenge—to help you break free from the grip of emotional abuse and rewire your nervous system for peace and joy. ✨ In just 30 days, you’ll gain powerful tools to heal, grow, and reconnect with the true YOU. Ready to reclaim your light? Drop a 💖 below to take back your happiness!

Why does the narcissist feel like the ONLY one who can make you feel better? 🤔 (It’s not what you think!) You’re not weak. You’re not crazy. And this isn’t about willpower. ✨ The truth? It’s not about them—it’s about what they trigger in you. Maybe you’ve thought to yourself, ‘Wow, it’s been 3 years…why am I not over them?’ But here’s the reality: It’s not them you can’t get over—it’s the wound you haven’t healed yet. The emotional rollercoaster they create mirrors patterns from childhood that your brain linked to “love” and survival. 💔 The highs feel like fireworks, and the lows pull you into shame and longing, creating a powerful emotional addiction. Even seeing them like a post or watch your story feels like a ‘hit’ of relief—momentarily numbing the pain of not feeling good enough. 🔑 Here’s the breakthrough: It’s not your fault. This cycle will continue until you heal the wound driving it. But when you heal, you’ll free yourself from their grip and become a magnet for healthy, loving relationships. 💖 Are you ready to let go of the cycle? Swipe through to uncover the truth. Comment ‘HEAL’ below if you’re ready to reclaim your power! ⬇️

You need to read this if you keep questioning if you’re the narcissist. ⬇️ You might feel this way because: 1️⃣ Shame Wounds from Childhood 💔 You’ve been conditioned to blame yourself when things go wrong, carrying a deep guilt that makes it easy to think you’re always at fault. 2️⃣ They Call You Selfish When you express a need, feeling, or set a boundary, they twist it and accuse you of being “selfish” or “hurting” them. Even talking about your achievements? Met with silent treatment, leaving you feeling like you need to dim your light so they stop labeling you as “full of yourself.” 3️⃣ Gaslighting They convince you your reaction to their abuse is the real problem. Over time, you disconnect from your reality, doubt yourself, and take on their projection of you as your own. 4️⃣ Reactive Abuse 🔥 They poke and provoke until you react. Then, they use your response to call you “crazy” or unreasonable. Some even use dog whistling—subtle comments designed to trigger you in front of others, making you look bad while they play the victim. 5️⃣ Smear Campaign They spread lies about you, turning people against you. Because they’re so convincing as the victim, others believe them, leaving you isolated and reinforcing the idea that you’re the problem. 💡 Why you feel like you’re the narcissist when you start healing: They’ve guilt-tripped you so much that as soon as you start prioritizing your needs, setting boundaries, or practicing self-love, your brain filters this as being “narcissistic.” But this isn’t narcissism—it’s a healthy form of self-care and reclaiming your worth. Here’s how you know you’re not the narcissist: ✨ You care deeply about how your actions affect others. (Narcissists lack empathy.) ✨ You take responsibility for your actions and want to grow and heal. Recovery is about separating yourself from their lies and coming home to who you truly are. Comment a ❤️ below to learn how to heal from this conditioning and rewire your brain from the abuse.

“They look so happy with their new person. Was I the problem? Was I not good enough?” Let me stop you right there: It’s not that you weren’t good enough—it’s that they are unpleasable. The happiness they’re showing off? It’s fake. They’re in the honeymoon stage, getting a high from new supply. And trust me, they know you’re watching. That performance? It’s designed to make you question yourself. Here’s the truth: People don’t change just because they meet someone new. Real change requires self-reflection and accountability—things a narcissist avoids at all costs. So why does it hurt so much? Why the comparisons? It’s triggering a deeper wound: the need to be chosen. If you grew up feeling unseen or not enough, being chosen feels like ultimate validation. A narcissist’s discard pokes at that tender inner child who whispers: “If only I were better, they’d choose me.” But hear this loud and clear: You were never the problem. 💡 Your needs didn’t make you difficult—they made you someone who couldn’t be manipulated. 
💡 Your boundaries didn’t scare them because you were too much—they scared them because you were too strong. To stay with them, you’d have to abandon yourself. Their discard? Proof that you refused to shrink. That’s a compliment to your resilience and self-worth. They moved on fast because they can’t form real emotional bonds. They’re chasing validation, not connection. You might know this logically, but it doesn’t stop the obsessive thoughts, does it? That’s because this runs deeper—it’s the not good enough wound. The way out of the pain is through healing it. My 14-Day Trauma Bond Detox Challenge will show you how to break free, heal your inner child, and reclaim your worth. Drop a 🔥 if you’re ready to break free & reclaim your power. I’ll send the details straight to your 💌!

“Before you roll your eyes at me, I get it. I know the pain you’re feeling right now feels unbearable. You’ve probably heard things like, ‘Your pain can be your greatest power,’ and thought, ‘How? This just hurts.’” For years, I felt the same way. Endless cycles of abuse and manipulation broke me down. It started in my own family, where love came with conditions and control. Then it repeated in romantic relationships and friendships with people who chipped away at my worth, made me question my value, and tried to break me at every turn. I felt stuck, overwhelmed, and like I’d never escape. But here’s what I’ve learned: this pain wasn’t just destroying me—it was breaking me open. It forced me to face my wounds, to let go of the people and patterns that were keeping me stuck, and to rebuild myself—not into who I was before, but into someone stronger, freer, and more aligned with my true purpose. Today, I’ve turned that pain into a thriving business, a life of abundance and freedom, and a mission to help others break free too. If you’re feeling stuck in the pain, the cravings, or the cycle, I want you to know it’s possible to heal. That’s why I created the 14-Day Trauma Bond Detox Challenge—to help you: 💜 Release the cravings and emotional pull that keep you stuck. 💜 Break the cycle of trauma bonds and manipulation. 💜 Start building the life you deserve. And you can start seeing results in just two weeks. The next round starts soon—don’t wait. Your comeback begins now. 👉 Comment “HEAL” below to join the challenge today. Your pain doesn’t define you. It’s the spark that can ignite your purpose and transform your life. You’re not just a survivor—you’re unbreakable. 💪💜

Struggling to let go of a narcissist? 💔 Here’s the fastest way to break a trauma bond in 3 simple steps: 1️⃣ Build Emotional Resilience: Learn how to handle the overwhelming emotions that keep pulling you back. 2️⃣ Disarm Inner Blockers: Address the self-doubt, fantasy thinking, and false hope keeping you stuck. 3️⃣ Release the Root Wound: Use somatic therapy to process the abandonment wound stored in your body. The key? When leaving feels safer than staying, freedom becomes effortless. ✨ Comment “TOOLS” below, and I’ll share how to start this journey today!

Still stuck on them? Here’s why—and how to finally break free 👇 It’s not your fault. You’re not consciously choosing to hold onto them. This is a subconscious survival pattern rooted in childhood. Your brain’s #1 job is to avoid pain, so it developed strategies to protect you—like fantasy thinking. As a child, you may have distracted yourself from unmet emotional needs by imagining love where there wasn’t any. Your mind created a fantasy bond to keep you attached for survival. Fast forward to adulthood: If you meet someone emotionally unavailable, that same pattern gets triggered. You might find yourself: 👉 Romanticizing their potential 👉 Daydreaming about your future together 👉 Focusing on “what could be” instead of what is 👉 Highlighting the good while ignoring the bad Repeat this enough, and your brain starts to believe the fantasy because it can’t tell the difference between imagined connection and reality. Even if they’re treating you poorly, the fantasy version of them feels so special that you ignore the truth. This is why you accept less than you deserve. Here’s the truth: You don’t actually miss them. You miss the fantasy you created in your mind. The only way to stop this cycle? Process the emotional wounds beneath it and retrain your brain to see clearly. If you’re ready to stop longing for them and reclaim your freedom, join my 14-Day Break Your Trauma Bond Challenge. 💖 Learn the exact tools to: ✔ Collapse the fantasy and stop missing them ✔ Self-soothe when longing hits ✔ Build emotional resilience to move forward Comment a 🔥 below, and I’ll send you all the details before the early bird pricing ends. Your healing starts NOW.

Breaking free from a narcissist isn’t about willpower—it’s about healing the pain that keeps pulling you back. 💔 Here’s the truth: the highs and lows of narcissistic abuse create an addictive trauma bond. Love-bombing gives you the high, but gaslighting and devaluation trigger withdrawals that feel unbearable. It’s not your fault. Your brain and nervous system have been rewired by the abuse to keep chasing the “high” even though it’s hurting you. The constant pull to go back isn’t because you’re weak—it’s because your body hasn’t yet learned how to feel safe without them. But here’s the good news: healing is possible. You can break free from this cycle, and you don’t have to do it alone. The pain of withdrawals doesn’t just go away with time or learning more about narcissists. You need to heal the root cause—the negative core beliefs driving your pain and keeping you stuck in survival mode. Beliefs like: ❌ “I’m not good enough.” ❌ “I can’t survive without them.” ❌ “I’ll never find love again.” These beliefs aren’t facts—they’re wounds left by the abuse. But until you heal them, they’ll keep your nervous system locked in dysregulation, making the pain feel unescapable. 💡 That’s why I created this highly effective somatic routine—a simple, 10-minute practice you can use to quickly calm and rewire the cravings that pull you back into the cycle of abuse. ✨ What’s inside? ✨ ✔ A dynamic pattern interrupt to stop the cravings in their tracks. ✔ Self-havening to soothe and create emotional safety. ✔ Visualization and affirmations to release emotional attachment. ✔ Grounding techniques to restore calm and confidence. All for just $5. 🎉 Imagine being able to calm the chaos in your mind, release the pull to go back, and finally take a step toward freedom and peace. Drop a 💖 below & I’ll send you the details to grab this game-changing routine today!

🚨 How to Deal with a Narcissist’s Smear Campaign 🚨 Spoiler alert: You don’t. You just don’t. Here’s why: It’s a TRAP. 🎯 Narcissists are experts at baiting you into reacting so they can play the victim and make you look crazy. Your reaction fuels their control over you—it’s their narcissistic supply. But when you stay cool, calm, and indifferent? You take your power back. 💪 ✨ You show them they have nothing on you. ✨ You thank them for revealing who your true friends are. ✨ And you focus all that energy back on YOU—living your best life and growing stronger. The best revenge? Living a life so amazing they can’t touch it. 🚀 But let’s be real—logic is one thing, but your body’s triggers? Different story. It pulls you back into their toxic cycle, and that’s where you get stuck. 💡 Don’t worry, I’ve got your back! Comment HEAL below, and I’ll send you my top exercises to instantly calm those triggers and break free for GOOD. 💜 #HealingJourney #TraumaRecovery #NarcissisticAbuse #EmotionalFreedom #HealingTools #SelfGrowth